Writer: Felecia Scott
|Black Woman Unleashed|
Finding their inner goddess and owning it is challenging for most women. It is challenging because many women have allowed certain ideologies and isms to define their worth. For example, us black women have been told that we must work twice as hard in order to compete with our counterparts. Wow, what a way to enhance a population self-esteem by comparing them to another race. Are we still considered second class citizens although many of us have acquired education, are business owners, a part of Black Wall Street as well being responsible for breastfeeding many of the children of our counterparts. Yet it is still hard for many to own our inner goddess. It is so easy to tell people to stop comparing us to each other as well as our counterparts. Sounds relatively easy, however doing so would control everyone’s freedom of expression godliness is difficult because many don’t have the same belief systems. The theory that women are goddess comes from Egyptian and Greek philosophies so individuals who have been Christian most likely have different views of self-worth as a women and most likely would oppose combining philosophy and religion to empower black women. Removing the African culture from black women is equivalent to living without oxygen. African culture goes beyond what one seen, heard or experienced. Many view Christianity as the oppressor’s system of control without conducting further research only to discover that Christianity evolved from belief system of the motherland it is interesting how when you pull back layers and do in depth research that religion was the division that was used to control all mankind while man searches for the spiritual components that make up the divine self. If we are created in the likeness of the Creator’s image then we are all divine and beautiful. Seems simply enough to own this philosophy and roll with it regardless of our challenges. The challenge for my black sister’s is to look in the mirror daily and speak life over themselves and own the fact that God makes no mistakes because we all are Queen Destiny.
Writer: Felecia Scott
Rejection… Who hasn’t experienced it at some point in their lives? Yes, we all have encountered the gut wrenching, mind boggling, I should have known better than to try that, moment of rejection. Whether it is a failed relationship, a missed promotion, or a personal setback in our lives, we all have experienced it. Rejection has the ability of shedding light on things that are vulnerable to us; giving a false affirmation of negative thoughts we are feeling. Rejection sometimes fuel negative self-talk, which forces us to lose focus on positive goals and achievements. At the time of being rejected, we are going through our moment and cannot quite grasp why rejection chose us. Although it can be viewed in a negative light, it is also important to understand that rejection can sometimes mean a good thing. In fact, it can actually be a great thing that empowers you to be better than ever before. In regard to rejection, it has a way of giving us a short-term “No”, but can also prepare us for a long-term “Yes”. Being rejected, if viewed positively, gives you a sense of accountability where you are forced to look at your life from a different perspective. Who doesn’t enjoy a second chance? When you are met with disapproval, it opens up a myriad of options for you, which allows you to refocus on the bigger picture in a positive way. Some questions that you have to ask yourself are: Have I done everything that I could? Is this a goal/task that can be revisited at a later date? Could I approach this task from another angle to achieve my desired results? Rejection grants you an opportunity and willingness to go back to the drawing board with a renewed focus and a forgiving heart. It is beneficial to our goals to stay confident and focused on everything we want to achieve in our lives.
We must keep moving forward, steadfast and positive because it is the only way to obtain our preferred results. With dedication and drive, we can achieve anything we put our minds to. A rejection is just that, a rejection. It is never to define who you are or confirmation that your goals are unachievable. When we accept rejection, we are learning because there is a blessing in every lesson, no matter the outcome. You may find it liberating in receiving a new opportunity to refocus on your goals which will help you to obtain your achievements. So embrace rejection. It does not show up to count you out, but to stretch and challenge you so you can get ready for all you are preparing for. We all have things in our lives that can use a little tweaking and fine tuning; rejection grants us that. The next time you receive a rejection, whether it is major or minor, think of it as another opportunity to challenge and grow yourself far beyond your expectations. Keep in mind…rejection is not a no, but merely not at the moment. Stay empowered, inspired and most importantly POSITIVE!
Writer: Deffanie S. Rawls
Waiting for love does not mean you sit in a corner and not live life. It means to work on getting yourself together spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. A personal relationship with God will lead you to the right people, places, and things. You invite love in by being love. Being love means being the best you to yourself so the same energy transcends to the people, places, and things that you are bound to attract. Opposites attract because of what they strive to learn from each other while embracing differences. In other words, develop working relationships with people that you don’t have much in common with. While this concept may seem far-fetched it is important for one’s personal development and growth. For those who have taken a logic, philosophy, social ethics class or are avid readers have come across this popular theory, “While all are different yet all are alike” this statement is basically saying if one can’t learn how to appreciate the differences in others you will soon grow tired of those who are similar to you. Bird of the feather flock together, but it takes a rare bird to see his or her own beauty while embracing the beauty of others. You will find that you are more alike than different the truth is many just have different methods of handling certain situations. Singleness is not a curse it is the most powerful time in your life and while people may not understand your reasoning it is not for them to it is for to own it. Most people don’t want to compromise or feel obligated to another person and if that is where you are in life then know and understand that waiting is beautiful.
The beauty in waiting is that you get to make sound decisions based on wisdom and not emotions. A cold bed is better than a warm bed and a cold heart. Sex can be as routine as changing a tire and is often expected in relationships that lack commitment or are committed. A lot of people have to get divorced before they get married because of the strength of soul ties on the hearts, minds and flesh. Marrying and not burning opposed getting it right with God for the perfect mate has ended in divorce for many. And sometimes you have to thank God for not allowing you marry because often your desires are not best for you. Don’t let the fear of being lonely make you rush into a relationship. The one who made you feel warm and fuzzy when you were vulnerable can be the same one who can break your heart. You will know when you are ready for love by how things begin to line up in your life and it will be free and not forced. The most important thing is being true to yourself and if right now you have accessed that being in a relationship is not for you then keep waiting. Remember to let your waiting consist of building and maintaining your wellness and wealth.
Writer: Felecia Karen Scott
So when you live in rural areas, there’s not the plethora of activities to do to hang out during the weekday, except grab a bite to eat. You may catch a movie or walk on the beach, but you are definitely going to hit up a restaurant every time you go out.
Well, I met this guy “on a dating site” (that’s another story) and we begin talking. Again, ladies, there were clues that this was a HUGE mistake, but I thought I was being judgmental and unfair. Conversation was okay. He definitely had an opinion about everything but ok… He was into a healthy lifestyle, that could be a plus… We arranged to meet at a restaurant and I wasn’t upset that he choose what he said was his favorite one. A decisive man, I thought.. kind of cool. (Little did I know). Smh
I got to the restaurant a little early, checked my face… after about five minutes I called his cell. He said he was on his way and should be there in about five minutes. Two minutes later he knocks on my passenger side window. “Where’s your car,” I asked. “I decided to walk, “ he responded. Little weird I thought but ok, after all, he was sort of a health nut. “Ok, are we going inside?”, “I thought we’d go to the park first then get a bite”. “ooooook”, I thought, “sure”, I said. He hops in the car, “Kiss me”, he says. “What” I quipped. “Kiss me” he said again… The look on his face said he was very serious. Ready to get the sitcom on the road, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “ I guess that will have to do for now” he said, with this grin on his face I came to despise.
I drove to the local park, we took a stroll and it was actually quite lovely. There was some hand holding which was cute and I began to relax a little thinking maybe I had been to hard on him. I was getting seriously hungry and suggested we head to dinner to get a bite. He agreed and suggested we go to a different restaurant near the mall. I really didn’t care at this point, I needed to eat.
When we got to the restaurant, he said he would order if ok. No problem. He ordered an appetizer and that was it. Said he thought it was romantic if we shared and since it was late didn’t want to eat to heavy a meal. (I know you think you see where this is going). “Ok”, I said… all the while thinking to myself that if I’m still hungry, I’ll get something on the way home. When the food came, like always, I say grace before eating, well, he started digging in. I put a few boneless wings on my plate, a mozzarella stick thinking we’ll nibble and talk. WRONG. He downed the appetizer so fast ALL I got was the few boneless wings and mozzarella stick I put on my plate. Thank God for my free refill on raspberry tea. As I took him home, I kept trying to rationalize what happened. Maybe he was just hungry I told myself. I asked where was I taking him, he told me to drop him back off at the restaurant because he needed to walk off the food he had just eaten. No doubt I thought. While again it was weird, I didn’t care… I was headed to get me some food from somewhere.
He called the next day saying what a good time he had and letting me know he would like to see me again. While it had been a strange date, I thought that had to be the worst and it could only get better.
Again, WRONG. To make a long story short, we went out several more time and each time I noticed that if he paid, he only ordered small food or we went somewhere cheap. If I paid, he’d order large food and scarf down not only his but mine too. You know we hate when someone puts their hands in our plate. By the forth date I would almost get panic attacks thinking about trying to get some food before he consumed it all. It was a race to eat and I was on the losing team. I nicknamed him the “Hoover” since he seemed to down the food with a quickness, leaving not even a crumb.
After a while it was too much for me to take. I was having anxiety attacks every time I thought about going out with him. Thinking I needed to eat before the date, planning and plotting how to get more of the meal, especially when I paid. Yes, I know, I shouldn’t have paid but I honestly thought I’d have a running start at getting some of the meal. Not so. This was definitely one of the worst dating experiences I had had. Did I mention that he lived in a hotel room, that was the reason for all the secrecy in the beginning and hence the lie about “liking to walk”.
As I begin to make excuses for not seeing him, I believe he realized what I was doing and decided to inform me that I would be much prettier if I didn’t have the extra “stuff” hanging off my petite frame. I’m a thickums’. That’s ok I said, I had lost weight while dating you along with my voice, since I had had to talk louder and in your good ear. I hung up the phone thinking “Wow, seriously”… I needed to trust my instincts more. If it looks like a loser, is cheap like a loser and talks like a loser….it’s probably a loser. Until next time….. Are you for real?
Written By: Demi Hartson
When you are sharing an intimate relationship with your spouse or committed lover, there has to be a focus on keeping the relationship fresh and spicy. Sometimes us as women think we know it all. But we don’t!
Apparently, for various reasons there are things that he feels he cannot say or ask us in bed. Things he wants or would like more of.
The moral of this story is, communicating openly in the bed room will lead to seriously satisfying sex when you both learn to ask for what you want. Don’t create a bucket list, it still needs to be spontaneous, just uninhibited.
Written By: Demi Hartson